Ah, the idiot ex... Never fails at being an ass!
In case you don't already know, my ex and I don't get along. We're cordial enough, but deep down we don't like one another. No biggie! I don't like him, he doesn't like me... Unfortunately we've got a kid together so how we feel about the each other is of no importance. Heck, I admit freely the few nice things I can say about the man! He is a good father, he loves his son and spends time with him. Trust me, I've seen horrible dads who aren't there for their kids what so ever! Like my daughter's sperm donor, he's seen her probably less than 20x her whole life! He doesn't call or write! So, I give my ex props for being a good dad!
The idiot ex, on the other hand, seems to be blasting me for being a bad mother! Really? Ok, I know I've been down this road before.... Nothing new, he's got in stuck in his mind I'm the world's worst mom and he's dad of the year 11yrs running! I'm used to this, and really I don't care what his opinion of me is. I know I'm a great mom! Perfect? No, but I take good care of all my children. I'm the one that's pushed to have my son tested, first for speech, then ADHD, then dyslexia, and now for autism. I'm the one that picked his doc and dentist, I take him to 90% of his appointments. I get him to school, work with him on his reading. I have him do chores, but when he's done he's free to play. He plays with his toys, reads, plays video games, watches TV, plays outside.... Aren't those all normal kid activities??? I guess not, according to his dad!
Why am I bringing all this up? Well, today the ex gave me paperwork to turn into the school for son's autism testing. And YES I read what the idiot wrote! One of the questions asked was: Please formulate your own ideas about the suspected cause of your child's problems: (to which the idiot wrote-) based on what C says, his mom doesn't have time for him and he doesn't get to do all the things kids get to do. They also say bad things about me to him.
Ha! I'm with him most of the time! I spend time with all my kids ever single day except when they are staying the night somewhere else. No I don't get much quality one-on-one time with him, but I don't get that with any of them aside from the youngest because he doesn't go to school yet. He makes it sound like I lock my son in a cage or something! I'm really curious what he's not getting to do that other kids are doing?? Is my son in any extracurricular activities? Nope. Last time I had him involved in something it was Boy Scouts and his dad wouldn't hardly take him to the meetings and stuff if it happened on his weekends! Well, you bet I'm signing son up for something soon! And if his dad refuses to take him on his weekends... well, then he'll only have himself to blame and not me! Oh, and we spend time together as a family. I do crafts with the kids every once in a while, we go to parks, we go to movies, we like doing board games, we go for walks, and much more!
And about us talking bad about his father to him... Yea that doesn't happen. My hubs and I never talk bad about his dad to him, ever! Now, my other family members (namely my dad) doesn't quite know how to hold his tongue at times. It's not like I just sit there and let my son here my dad talk crap, no I say something to my dad about it and he shuts up. I'm a grown adult and I've done well at keeping my personal opinions of his father to myself or behind closed doors!
There was much of what he put on the paperwork that I happen to disagree with, like for instance when they asked about child misbehaving in school the idiot wrote: he has had his moments in the past, but nothing major... Oh really??? Currently, as long as my son is on his ADHD meds he's a fantastic student and all the teachers love him! But in the past? Let me paint you a picture shall I... Me getting yet another call to come pick up my son from school because he was throwing such a huge fit and they couldn't get him to calm down at all. Me (very very pregnant) go up to get him, I try to talk to him which doesn't work, I end up having to carry him kicking and screaming all the way to my car (this happened more than once), and once in the car I'd buckle him up then start driving, and that's when he'd get out of his seat and cover my eyes or just plain attack me! Oh yea, nothing major... All kids do that right?!
I swear, his dad made it out like my son is a perfect child as long as he's with him and the only reason he's not perfect for me is because I'm an awful parent! Well, as the horrible awful parent I am I just don't know what to do! I'm mean, since my son's issues are all my fault... I guess I don't push him to go out and socialize enough, even though I tell him nearly everyday to go out and play with his friends and I've let him go to sleepovers and I'm planning a camp out for him for his birthday coming up later this month. Or maybe it's these chores I have him do... Yep, making him do chores must be my downfall as a parent! Or is it that I put a roof over his head, have him shower daily, feed him at least 3x a day, keep him stocked with books and toys, have him go to school, and all those other awful awful things I do??? Or maybe it's because I get on to him when he acts up? What is it that makes me such a bad mom? Why oh why can't I be more like his super dad? I know, I should get rid of my other 3 kids and become the part-time parent! You know, that way I can party with my band and go out drinking and do whatever the fuck I want most of the time, and then a couple of weekends a month I could dedicate to bonding hardcore with my son! That's it! That way I could be a good parent like his dad!
Or I could continue being the good mom I already am! Because regardless of what the idiot ex says, I know the truth and the truth is I'm a good parent. I'm never going to be perfect, I'll never be as bonded to my son as his dad is.... I made the choice to have 4 kids and as much as I love and devote myself to each one of them I'm going to make mistakes. It's unfortunate I don't get tons of individual time with each of my kids, and perhaps I could squeeze in a bit more. But even with all my faults I'm still a great mom! Just really wish idiot ex would quit accusing me otherwise!
One things for certain, I didn't go blasting him when I filled out my paperwork for the school. The thought never even crossed my mind. I'm trying to get help for my son, and if all they went by was what my ex wrote they'd be hard pressed to see need for testing (he seriously describes him as being pretty much perfect and his only problem in life is having me for a mom). That's way frustrating when I know there's issues there my son needs help for! Why couldn't his dad see thesse papers as a way for us to help our son instead of an opprutunity to blast me and boast his parenting ablities?? Ugh!
Ok, well I'm through venting for the day! Ta Ta!
